The sun was shining brightly as if I did not do the crime. The sin that haunts me for the rest of my life. I not totally proud of it, but my awake mind knows that was the right thing to do. I remember the day when I entered this place, this prison. The life time sentence is worth it. Not even a single day I spend here not remembering you. Your face, your sweet face, your beautiful hair, everything make me crazy.
The first day I met you, you was entering the hospital. The wind blaze like it never was before. My heart was pounding as fast as the bullet train in London. My eyes was star-struck, it like memorizing the moment I saw you, Jessica. That name was written on the patient card. From that moment, I was sure that we have our destiny together. But, I try to keep it casual, because I know the reality of the situation. You are my patient, and I am your doctor.
Time past by in our first appointment. As casual as I try to be, it was very clumsy. It have been such a long time since I feel this way, considering my situation as a single bachelor with a profession as neuron-surgeon doctor, with my good looking and my country accent. We were meant to be together, that what my heart tries to say. When I ask you about your problem, you answered me calmly. That time I look closely into your eyes, and I saw its blue sea in colour. Eventually, your eyes see right through me. We stand there, face-to-face. We kiss for the first time and the feeling flow right through my body, then struck my heart in many different directions. The day went by, and everything else seems colourfull.
My day became more brightly, the bird singing happily and everything seem flowing smoothly. My mind feel calm when I with you. We been on a few more dates, I learn more about you. We shared many things in common. For example, you love kids. I still remember the time we go to your work place, the kindergarten. I see how you handle those kids with care, and how you become one of them. It was so funny and exciting, all the memory with you blend together with my everyday life. You bring smile back to this face. I never had been able to explain what I felt, the chemistry that happens between us. It was a paranormal, something that could not be explained. But I am sure at that particular time, you are the one. I was ready for commitment. I want to marry you.
It all shattered when your medical result comes out. My heart crushes into pieces as I read what written on the paper. I try to re-look at it again and again. Unfortunately, no matter how much time I look at it; the result is still the same. The entire neurological statistic and the brain scan show that the test was a positive result. Maybe if it something good I would be happy, but its not. That explain why your are in the hospital’s bed right now. Your brain cancer is at its critical condition. It’s been three month since you were sick. I got to do this. I have to end your pain, because I love you so much. The tears drop as I put the needle through your beautiful hand, that now so weak. I love so much. This is what supposes to happen. I let you go in peace. Suddenly, a nurse enters the room, realizing what I have done. The rest is just a blur for me. My live end just the same time went I end your live. The police, court, and then prison. I don’t even care. I do what I must do. To set you free from your miserable nightmare.
It’s has been 10 years since I been in this prison. Your memories still linger with me, night and days. Every single things I do remind me of your. Sometimes I even dream about you, you thank me for what I did. I do not care about what people say about me, the called me cold blooded murderer, killer, and even psycho, but only I know what I felt. The pain your suffer is too much, maybe no one else can understand. But I do, and I just cannot stand there, watching you in pain. My love is what causes me to do that act, and I know someday they will understand. I hope we can be together again, maybe someday, but not in this life. Someday we will truly happy, living with our love and companion. Until that day, our love will live in my heart, burning as the strongest fire that will never fade away.
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